The Titles: Does becoming a girlfriend mean losing your soul?

Remember my friend John? The brilliant mastermind behind the Stable? Of course you do. Well John and I are still (platonic) friends, and tonight we were discussing my most recent relationship.

“So, how’s the boyfriend?” John asked almost immediately.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“I thought you did. Then who is this guy that you seem so thrilled to be dating?”

“Oh, well, he’s just this guy I’m dating.”

“So why not ‘boyfriend’? You guys sure do seem to be spending a lot of time together…”

“I don’t know. We just aren’t quite ready for ‘the titles’.”

Less than an hour later, I was on the phone with my friend Madeleine, who has been seeing an older guy for the last 3 months or so.

“Katie, he called me his girlfriend.”

“Shit. To who?”

“That’s the worst part—to a random bartender! The bar was closing, and he said something like ‘Well, I just want to get one more drink for my girlfriend’.”

“Did he know that you could hear him?”

“I was right next to him!”

“Oh man.”

“I know.”

“Well, as long as he isn’t introducing you as his girlfriend, I think it’ll be fine. I wouldn’t worry quite yet, but you should definitely say something if he does it again.”

Following this less than unusual conversation, I reflected on the advice that I so confidently gave my newly "girlfriended" friend: “You should definitely say something.” Say what?... Excuse me, but I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t call me that before we have performed the official title dedication ceremony. What does it take to cross the oh-so-crucial boyfriend/girlfriend line?

I have been seeing the same guy for about 6 weeks now. The relationship has progressed quite quickly, which is, I like to believe, due to our amazing and unprecedented level of chemistry. We communicate through texts and phone calls several times a day and hang out, I’d say, at least 5 days a week. In addition, we have been spending the night together sober (another huge milestone), and once we even lounged in bed together reading our respective novels for twenty minutes before turning out the light. (I know... Who am I??)

Yet, still, I cringe at the thought: “Am I a girlfriend?” No. It can’t be. Girlfriends are those petite femme-bots in Seven jeans and ballet flats. The ones who pay $600 a month for bedrooms that they’ve stepped foot in four times. They’re the ones us single girls scoff at for always being “with him,” and for losing touch with what’s really important: friends and getting wasted.

Why do we have such a problem with the “titles”? Because the titles are what make the persons involved no longer people. The titles force him and her to become a pair. A couple. A set. A Brangelina.

Well, ladies, I am here to tell you that it is possible to be “taken” without having a boyfriend or, worse, being a girlfriend. I am living proof.

And, yes, I will be sure to let you know when the inevitable day arrives--the day that I am girlfriended. Or, I guess, the day that "the guy I’m dating” becomes simply "a guy." Ultimately, it’s got to go one way or the other, but I think I'll try to stay in limbo just tad longer. I like it here.