I met my friend John the summer after my freshman year when I lived and worked in Jackson Hole, Wyoming with a handful of my closest friends from school. He was living across the street with three other guys who had just graduated from college, and the eight of us formed a quick bond. John and I and have remained good (platonic) friends ever since, and he often serves as a great male-minded sounding board for my “Am-I-A-Slut?” rants.
John introduced me to a concept called “The Stable” that I have found very helpful in understanding and organizing my various relationships with men. As John describes it, most college guys have a “Stable” of girls. These are girls that they have met over the years, from a range of U.S. cities and universities. Stable members can be anyone from ex-girlfriends to one-night-stands to former flings. Maintaining one’s stable is not difficult, and if the proper steps are taken, according to John, a guy can be guaranteed a hook-up no matter where in the country he turns up. For example, if John knows that he will be spending a weekend at the University of Virginia, he will review his Stable (often in the form of a cell phone contact list), picking out those Stable members that call Charlottesville home. A phone call approximately two weeks prior to the UVA visit is all that is needed to properly ensure that these Stable members will be primed for a steamy hook-up. “I just call to check in, ask them about their life, about how everything has been,” John explains. Then, in the subsequent weeks, John keeps in touch through texts, emails, or the occasional drunken phone call. When John arrives in Charlottesville, he knows that he can call up one of his UVA Stable members to "hang."
There are certain rules, John says, that must be applied to the Stable at all times. If you learn that one of your Stable members has entered into a serious relationship, for instance, you temporarily remove them from your Stable. They are then to be reinstated if/when the relationship falls through. Secondly, you must be aware of certain “All-Star” Stable members. These are Stable members that make your life (and Stable maintenance) easier. Like you, these members likely have Stables themselves and understand the benefits of maintaining their many relationships.
When John first explained “The Stable” to me, it did not take long for me to realize that I did, in fact, have a Stable—I just didn’t recognize it as such. I could make a career of social networking: I am constantly visiting other colleges, making new friends through the old, and I too have Stable members all over the country. I have hooked up with guys in Atlanta, Athens, Chapel Hill, Charlottesville, New York, Charleston, Washington, and Jackson Hole—just to name a few (domestically, that is). And, like John, I have a habit of periodically contacting past romantic flings, and let me tell you: it works.
It is amazing for me to look at the past four years, noting the perpetual patterns in my hook-ups. Within the past six months, I have reawakened "relationships" with: my high school sweetheart, a freshman year fling, a sophomore year fling, and my longtime high school crush. One of these guys in particular (the sophomore year fling—we’ll call him “Jim”) is undeniably my All-Star. Landing a hook-up with Jim never fails. I met him on spring break two years ago, and since then we have hooked up at my school, his school, in Charleston, and, most recently, in New York. And throughout it all, we have remained close friends, speaking on the phone at least once every two months. We have little in common beyond the physical attraction and a slew of mutual friends, but Jim is sure to be a Stable member for years to come.
So for all of you ladies who worry that you may have one too many men to juggle, don’t fret—all you need is a little organization. If you build it, they will come.
